From time to time, negative people just pop out of nowhere affecting your good mood. Sometimes, the negative energy is so strong it invades your own energy and you end up feeling tired, drained, blue, or simply end up feeling super BLAH.
Dealing with negative people can be a challenge but do not allow yourself to be consumed by it and be robbed of your own joy and positive energy.
But how do we avoid negative people or black holes???
First of, let’s start by making a conscious effort and decision to NOT feed into the negative energy. Don’t take everything you hear as “THE WORD”. Sometimes, even our friends or relatives can be over reacting to situations making them amplify their stories.
Just because someone is your best friend, brother, sister, mother, father or cousin, who may be concerned for your well-being does not always mean that their advice or input has value. For instance, I’m very knowledgeable when it comes to processes, project management, service operations, and performance metrics. However, I know absolutely nothing about being a mechanic so if I ever give you any advice on what to do with oil leaks, expect it to be “BROKEanic” advise. :) This type of input has no value at all.
Sometimes, friends and family can be the same. They can give negative feedback about your plans and viewpoints on certain things but this can be because they lack information or the know-how to see the positives of a situation. Sometimes, ignorance can cause them to feel apprehensive for your welfare. Know the difference between caring and the knowledge to offer helpful advise.
Second, refrain from the need of having someone else’s blessing or approval. Coming from Asian descent, needing approval was actually part of my culture. America taught me to think otherwise. Someone once told me of a principle that I’d like to share with you — “As long as you must have the permission, approval and acceptance of your peers you are a victim of their limiting beliefs.”
Third, eradicate your own negative thoughts. If you keep a strong positive thinking, other people’s opinion especially negative thoughts won’t or shouldn’t matter. You’ll find these negative opinions as preposterous.
Outside of the confinement of my solitude, I’m usually bubbly and carry positive energy. This however, doesn’t come from Starbucks. I take care of myself by giving Anna the “me time”. Sometimes, I go to the spa to enjoy a nice, relaxing atmosphere; visit my masseuse for a nice massage or reiki; workout or dance to release endorphins which helps with happy thoughts and good mood; or the easiest quick-fix EVER — retail therapy. :)
I understand that not everybody may have the time or luxury to do the aforementioned items. However, there’s other things you can do to gain positive energy such as reading to expand your mind and knowledge, increase your mastery or proficiency in areas that interests you. Hang out and surround yourself with positive, smart, and dynamic people. Play a yoga video and stretch (down dog, plank, tree, etc.) not only your body but expand your mind.
Summon yourself to the challenge to perform better than your previous best. Perhaps, you need to redefine the word “best” to doing what’s needed until it hurts. When you extend yourself mentally and physically to a goal, you also increase that belief in what is possible to thrive and flourish at a furious pace.
We have the freedom to choose. Choose to find what’s good in people and you’ll find positive things in life. Do it enough, you’ll soon find yourself with a habit that will transform not only your thought process but how you view and experience your daily life.
Life is not all about doom and gloom. You’ll appreciate good because there’s bad situations. Find what’s good or great about whatever it is and before moving on, think about the lessons learned and how such an experience or situation can make you a better or stronger person.
There will always be negative people and black holes. It’s up to you to redirect your mind back to the positive and retain that positive frame of mind and energy.